A Way of Knowing
I find myself changing social identity with the changing of seasons. After a summer as masonry contractor, I shift to a new identity as writer, toward new possibilities with rhythmically different forms. I value the play of shifting arrangements and see them as a way of avoiding getting stuck in a single arrangement. As a child, my family moved a lot and flexibility of arrangement was a way of life. Flexibility also defined my life as a Marine, but it also can be described as rigid. Flexibility of arrangement is one thing, changing habitual behavior and how one relates to oneself, and others is another matter. With that being said, I propose two problems. The problem of habitual behavior and social identity.
My desire to join the Marines, the patterns of experience therein and my re-entry into civilian life offer a recursive and reflexive look into problems of disorder in relations among human beings. The question of how to change patterns of experience was first introduced to me by Alcoholics Anomalous. They taught- a reorganization of self must occur for the addict to be cured. Gregory Bateson took this notion further and claimed “Warfare- like alcoholism is an addiction in pain and despair, pride, and good intensions…”
The war of drunkenness is with the bottle, and, as Bateson noted, is comparable with warfare anywhere. It should be obvious to anyone with personal experience that addiction constitutes an unhealthy relationship with the self. The warlord and the drunkard think they are in control when in fact they are promoting self-validating error. The logic of error extends to the ecological crisis and climate destruction. Our addiction to toxic chemicals bolsters greater production and use by the conviction that another drop from the barrel won’t kill you.
AA holds that there is a power greater than oneself, and with this acknowledgement, there is a change in the addict’s view of himself and a dawning of new possibilities. The addict must let it happen, something alcoholics or confrontation in war are unwilling to do. At first, I resisted and ignored my principled objections. I followed my pride cut off from my connection to a higher power. After two years, I slowly began to turn around, and to this day, I am still making my way back up the mountain. If the addict fails to turn around, he will eventually hit “rock bottom.” The addict thought he had control, but it is bigger than he is. There are two outcomes, one outcome results with change of relationship with oneself and others the other results in death.
My descent into the dark wood of military intelligence returned me from whence I came, a transformed being. Throughout my enlistment, I kept turning around, stretching out for a lost innocence. Mine was a gradual awakening, just as I was learning the intelligence craft, my cognitive dissonance and critical thinking kicked in. I restored a lost wisdom-a way of knowing-a power greater than myself.
All other systems of power fell before me, and I vowed to rid myself of the military. I suddenly realized no one really knew anything about what really mattered. I would continue to serve honorably but resisted the militarization of my mind. The pattern of my experience changed. Outwardly, I played at showing respect toward high-ranking officers, but inside I saw them as little consequence. I still had two years on my enlistment and must not let it show. Even so, returning to civilian life required a change in social identity as well.
In all of us resides a desire to live and make decisions without interference, to consider oneself of as much consequence as others and to submit to another only insofar as it pleases you. In modern society, one needs money to live as one pleases. One soon discovers, it does not pay to have a self-conscious aversion to being told what to do. Citizens are required to submit to an authority for a job, to work forty hours a week, just to make ends meet. During those forty hours submitting to arbitrary, sometimes faceless authority, one loses the freedom to make commitments to others. Slaves cannot make commitments because they are under the orders of their owners.
During my apprenticeship under my father and then stepfather, I was under a system of care where people always came before profits. Family was the unit of labor and nature set the hours. My fathers were not aggressive, on the contrary, they often made a game of work. They both passed on technical skill and were the ideal of honesty and individual freedom. My shift from apprentice to master, was a change in social identity insomuch as I satisfied the observer. In this sense, a change in social identity constitutes a change in our relationship with others as well as ourselves.
A healthy relationship with others requires adequate conduct with others. In this view, a change in social identity is not proclaimed by decree it must be demonstrated by adequate conduct. What is adequate conduct? Conduct that satisfies the observer. How does one recognize adequate conduct? By asking questions. Asking questions is how we know if a person knows a thing. Not being allowed to ask questions constitutes an unhealthy relationship with oneself and others. A functioning adult seeking a public platform knows he/she is fair game for questions and criticism.
There are far too many unhealthy relationships for anyone to claim “Wokeness” as a social identity. All one can do is the best they can. We all have moments of gratitude, mutual aid, and caring. So, tolerate your Trump loving friend, hug the aunt who believes abortion should be made illegal and accord them the same freedoms. After all, we have given each other so much pain.
JD